Casual by Circumstance
How many people do you know, in your immediate circle of friends alone, that are forced into a more casual style of play than they would prefer simply due to the circumstances they find themselves in? (You might even be such a person yourself.) The reasons could be any number of things:
- They don’t know enough people
- The guild they’re in doesn’t raid, or doesn’t raid as seriously as they would like
- They can’t find a guild at a progression-level they want to be in that has an opening for them
- They don’t have enough time
Those are just a few possible reasons. There are many more that I’ve heard, but those seem to be the most common.
You want to be hardcore, but for whatever reason… aren’t.
What do you do? How do you solve this problem?
This has actually been a problem for me for a long time. I’ve always been the “down to business, push, push, push” type. (Though I do at least attempt to maintain some semblance of a sense of humor throughout.) I spend hours pouring over my gear choices to optimize my effectiveness in my chosen role, I spend hours combing the internet for videos and boss strategies, I’ve spent hours in the past putting together raid systems and logistics (rosters, loot systems, schedules, gear checks, etc), and I’ve spent hours lamenting the fact that I’m not where I want to be.
Social Anxiety
One of my biggest problems is that I’m not very social. I try to be social, and push myself to be more social when opportunities present themselves, but I’m genuinely bad at it. For whatever reason, I’m generally pretty tactless. Usually, that’s unintentional. (I will admit, sometimes it’s not.) I also have a hard time knowing how to relate to people, without coming across as “weird” or “annoying” or generally like a big asshole. This is a personal challenge for me that I’m aware of, and try to improve. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes I’m not. But, in a game that’s based so entirely on sociability, one’s ability to relate to people and form bonds and friendships is important. Who your friends are and who you “hang out with” in-game has a huge impact on the activities you have access to.
Bumps in the Road
Another part of my problem is that I’m, more often than not, not in the “right place at the right time”. I tend to linger in bad situations out of a sense of loyalty and commitment. While my intentions, I believe, are ultimately honorable, they tend to not work out so well for me in the long run. What I mean by that is this:
I habitually stay in guilds long after I have stopped enjoying being there. Why? Because I work hard, and people come to depend on that. In 2 of the past 3 guilds I have been in, I have been promoted to Officer status. Not once before being promoted did I ever suggest that I wanted or aspired to such a thing. In fact, the very idea had never crossed my mind. (And, as it turns out, it wasn’t something I ultimately wanted.) The reasons I was told I was promoted, in both cases, were the same. I had shown dedication to making sure my character(s) were in “top shape” for their progression range(s), I had shown dedication to the guild by making strides to help others improve their characters as well as showing up on time to scheduled events with all required materials (consumables, etc; often with enough extras to give some to others) and providing feedback (when it was warranted) for ways we could improve as a group and as individuals. Basically: I had done my homework.
While I couldn’t (and still can’t) fathom why this behavior was so remarkable, I accepted both promotions with every intention of simply continuing to do exactly what I had done before: work hard to make sure everyone is as successful as they can be, both on an individual and group basis, and make sure everyone has fun. For me, raiding = fun. So, making sure I brought my A-Game equates to having that much more fun, to me. I always assumed that, for other people in my guilds, this same mindset held true. (I found out, much to my surprise and disappointment, that such was definitely not the case.)
Shock and Awwwww… Crap
One of the most demoralizing experiences I have ever had in this game, to-date, was the day I realized that, no matter what I do, I can’t force people to be as meticulous as I am. I can’t force people to care. The saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” is so very, very true.
In two separate guilds, on dozens of different occasions, I had spent hours making sure that I gave each individual who wanted a raid spot my undivided attention to help them optimize their characters. I had, literally, combed the internet looking at class guides for classes I had never played, nor ever wanted to, so that I would be better-equipped to help others. I went to every single web site I knew of that provided useful game-related information looking up class armor sets, stat optimization, raid strategies, and so forth. I went to every single person’s armory page. I looked at their gear choices, their talent choices, their reputation standings. I clicked the “Find an Upgrade” button so many times, I swear it would’ve worn out if it were a tangible thing. I created tailor-made wish lists for every single person based on their talent choices, what gear they already had, their reputation standings, what instances they had access to, and even went so far as to schedule instance runs for them to get those items based on what time of day they were available to play and who else was available at that time and needed the same instance run.
Have you any idea how long all of that took me?
Care to guess how many people gave a shit?
Now, mind you, I didn’t do this for every single person in the guild. (Although, it was damn near that.) I did this for people who had specifically stated a profound interest in raiding, for people who had actually signed up for runs, and stated an intention to do so habitually. Why did I go to all this trouble? Because invariably, when I talked to people about their characters, it became glaringly apparent that these people hadn’t even considered researching their characters, and had absolutely no idea how (which is, incidentally, why I post so many guides on how to research your character). I did it because they didn’t know how, and had shown an interest in raiding. Which, to me, meant that they wanted to do the work to make that happen.
I was floored when the realization suddenly hit me: people want to raid, they just don’t want to work for it.
This fact still staggers me, to this day. I can’t understand it. I literally cannot wrap my brain around this concept.
Do I spend a lot of time on my characters? Absolutely. Do I see it as work? Yes. But, I also see it as a labor of love. And I genuinely enjoy doing it. I enjoy crunching numbers. I enjoy finding little quirks that give me that extra edge. I enjoy knowing that I have, literally, done everything I can to make sure I’m the best player I can be. I take pride in that. I don’t care if I’m perfect. In fact, I don’t believe such a thing is possible. I also don’t care if I make mistakes. I do that all the time, and its okay. I just feel an immense sense of pride in knowing that I’ve done my best. And I cannot fathom why anyone else would not feel the same.
Casual by Circumstance
So, these days, I would call myself a casual player. Do I still work very hard on my characters? Yes, definitely. But not nearly as hard as I used to. Where before I would spend hours in Looking For Group for instances I needed, and run those instances over and over and over and over again until I got what I wanted, now I’ll work for a bit towards a specific goal, and then move on to something else if I’m not immediately productive.
I’ve “burnt out”, I think. I spent so much time working so hard for so many different things, and I don’t feel like I’ve really gotten anywhere because of it. I’m at precisely the same progression level as people who have put in 1/10th of the amount of work I have. Do I begrudge them that? No. It was my choice to do what I’ve done. No one asked me to do it, and no one expected it. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do, and I enjoyed doing it. I wanted to help.
Now, I’m taking a much more relaxed approach. I log on, do a couple dailies, grind for a bit, maybe play some alts. I sign up for raids only when I genuinely feel like raiding, not out of any sense of obligation, and no one complains about it. I don’t throw in my $0.02 when runs are going poorly and I think the strategy we’re using is… well, retarded. Its not my job to fix it anymore.
In a sense, I have given up, I guess. Do I see that as a personal failing? Well, maybe. I do think that the whole thing has been an incredible learning experience, certainly. I did learn that casual guilds were not right for me when all of this started, and because of my social anxieties, they were all that was available to me. I do firmly believe that a “hardcore” guild would likely have been a better fit for me, and an ultimately more satisfying experience all around. These days? Probably not. I’m worn out. I don’t want to feel like I have to do… anything.
If I were presented with an opportunity to join a hardcore guild right now, I would probably take it. Although, the stipulation would be that, unless something miraculous happened and I suddenly wanted to go back to “full-tilt Lass” doing all the things I used to do, I would be in the guild really as a place-holder, so that I would have a spot when the WotLK gear-reset rolled around. I have a strong desire to be on the “cutting edge” of raiding. I want to be one of the first to work through content, so I can be one of the first to puzzle out the strategies and figure out how things work, rather than being told how to do it right by someone else. I do not, however, have any desire to work through T6 content right now. It seems kind of stale to me, and the gear would be worthless in a few months anyway.
Related Posts
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to join the discussion and leave a comment. Don't forget to subscribe to the feed so you never miss an update! You can also Fave This Blog on Technorati, or Vote it Up on MassiveBlips!
Comments
It gets frustrating trying to help people after they’ve asked for help then having them ignore your research and ask for help with the same things three weeks later. I’d offer sage advice on how to deal with it, but I don’t have any. 
Keep enjoying your own toons and keep trying to avoid offering help to others unless you’re sure they’ll act on it?
I’ve actually felt so frustrated by several of the things that you mention that multiple times in the last few weeks I’ve considered just saying “man, fuck this” and closing my WoW account. Lazy people and stupid people are, quite frankly, wearing me the hell out. I pretty much don’t log onto my own hunter anymore except when somebody that I know intimately (meaning someone I know IRL or at least outside of the game) asks me to run a heroic. I haven’t raided in weeks. I’m still thinking about Lich King pretty often, but right now, I’m just hardcore burned out on bad internet communities, and I’m not even sure that a complete restart of my WoW career, rerolling on another realm, would help.
Casual by circumstance = Gnomeaggedon. I am probably about as hardcore as you can get - outside of the game… but that’s when I have the time.
Fully sympathise with where you are at… been there.
Gnomeaggedons last blog post..Enchanting: Random Power Levelling Tip
Lassirra,
I very much can relate to this entire post! If really do. Ive felt much the same.
You see I’m much a hardcore player in style “Trapped” in a very casual guild. As time goes on my edge gets dull. Will respond to this on my blog this weekend in full.
I think making lists for other people for classes that you don’t play was maybe a little too dedicated, kind, and thoughtful, but too much work, I agree that people have to want to improve 1st, but that they need to be given a reason to improve as well, one of the reasons why I think It will be a long time before I get my epic flyer is the amount of money I have spent on gems/enchants, I’m trying my best to have the best that is readily available, partly because I am not in a cushy raiding position, Im competing with people. Sometimes I need a nudge in the right direction, somone to say - you can be better. It wasn’t untill I left my safe little leveling guild I realised how crap I really was…. and I still might not be the best shadow priest, but between trying to avoid a burn out I know how much I have improved, the people who take what you have shown them and then ask questions/challange / show they understand the theory behind the improvements they are the ones that you should continue offering help to.. the rest.. introduce them to google.
pugnaciouspriests last blog post..Black Temple Doldrums
Thanks for this post, I can tell you put a lot of feeling into it, and can relate on a lot of levels:
- “Being trapped in a casual’s body”: yup, a lot of times I think I’d love to raid and progress and I’d like to think I have the talent to do so, but I have three big things keeping me from this: 1.) very random work schedule (boo retail), 2.) The boyfriend has essentially retired from WoW so I need more non-WoW time to spend time with him, and 3.) Was co-leader of a casual guild for a long time and now am leader (in the boy’s absence) and won’t dream of leaving this guild anytime soon.
Now do I resent any of those above things? Nope, well, the work schedule a little, but everything else I’m fine with. Do I wish I could raid more and progress farther? Yeah, but it’s not keeping me up at nights.
- “People don’t want to work for stuff”: so very true, it shocked me when I found out about it too and it really took a toll on my boyfriend the GM I think. He’d try to give officers jobs and they’d decline them, or accept them and then not do anything about it. The job of “Raid leader” was NOTORIOUSLY hard to give to someone. People want to raid, they don’t want to schedule it or deal with it. Ugh. Me and the boy wound up doing most of the work in getting our guild to Kara I think. Don’t get me wrong I love the guild, but yeah.
/HUGS!
Pikes last blog post..Stats for a Hunter: Part 2
I think alot of people are forced into casualness.. I am. I don’t have the time to “work” for raiding and quite frankly I don’t want to work for raiding. This is actually one of my biggest problem with WOW. People blur the lines between WOW the game and WOW the work. One of the reasons I really look forward to Diablo III is that I hope it will be all play and no work. No need to have people fuss about gear or time spent before enjoying the game. No one to tell me that “you have to put your skillpoints here to be viable for this content”.
That said, I do understand that some people want to dive into WOW with everything they got, and maby I would love to do the same if my social life was different.
cheers
Hexapumas last blog post..New hunter gear
Great post. I feel and share your pain. It’s hard to deal with that I’ve got a job and a family and can’t try out serious raiding at edge-cutting level within the next years at least, you never know about the future really… maybe in another game, when I’m retired… 
Your statement about making sure to be the best player you can be reflects exactly the way I feel. I know I suck in some aspects but I try not to be totally devestated by it. I just pull myself togheter and try to push me a little further uphill the learning curve. I know it’s doable. I guess when you’re locked out of hardcore rading for rl reasons you’ve got to find other ways to challange yourself to get the same kind of kick when you feel that you’re making progress as a player.
I’ll second (fifth?) the comments here that you are not alone out there!
I inhereted the GM position for my guild, setup a forum and such on my personal website, and started recruiting folks, and helping define some wish-lists for folks who requested them for our folks….only to see the active 70s leave to “go raid properly’ or otherwise just grind out dailies.
I have FAR more time out of game, to read forums, research gear, and such, than I have free-time at home when the kids are asleep. Thus, I also consider myself a “hardcore casual”. With under 10 hours a week on average in-game, I can only dream of running heroics and such right now. But I still enjoy the limited time I do get. Here’s to us casuals!
/use [Brewfest Pony Keg]
I find myself in a position where my WOW time is very valuble. I have a young family where most of my time at home is spent with them. So when i log in and am ready to go it drives me nuts to see people late for raids… ‘Oh i need just one more [insert daily quest req.]…’
My 3-4 hours 2-3 times a week does not need to be spent waiting for guys that doing dailies… dammit I don’t do dailies because its raiding time!
I spent the time getting my first toon upto the gear level where we could progress, running steamvaults too may times to get the bloody beastlord shoulders. I easily spent 3-4 months doing this, gearing up for Kara. Now, as an officer of out guild, when I layed out gear paths for new 70’s and say ‘Look, this could take a couple of months, depending on drops and how much you run…’ they walk away. They don’t care, their perspective is. ‘well I’ll just replace it when i get to Kara’. Lazy good fer nothing instant gratification swines!
My solution… reroll a healer, now i pug to my hearts content, my challenge is to keep the group up at all costs! I am able to keep my competitive nature, and strive for a goal without the angst of dealing with… well the others.
Had a problem for a while where a couple of regulars just weren’t gearing up.. over 2-3 months their gear had stayed the same. Reason being that they were intending to rely purely on the instance drops - no quest gear - too much effort. Unfortunately we couldn’t clear the instances that we were running.
Gear too bad = wipefest = no gear progression.
A few of us put our feet down, and things turned around int he space of a week.. we just needed that little extra dps/surviablity.
gnomeaggedons last blog post..Gnome Googles on: Talented
I know how you feel
I left my guild when it fell apart and went to a more “hardcore” raiding guild judt to find out I would be the number 3 for my class and spec which was a serious let down as I was lead to believe I would be able to raid just by coming to the guild, so what I got dkp for showing up on time but never did I set foot into the instance. So I left that guild too, a few friends in the same situation decided we would make a guild of or own. That again was a mistake we recruited hard and got our numbers up to a lvl that should have put us in 25 man content but alas most of them were there for free kara gear, the same people no doubt you were talking about who wanted all that “help” but found out it was work and left the guild to find somewhere that they could get the free kara gear without farming instances and doing quests for blue gear that would have made them valuable in kara and heroics. So now here I sit the gm of a guild who’s raid worthy 70’s have moved on to guild actually running the content we were supposed to be in a month ago. I am now at a crossroad trying to decide if I want to leave the guild to an alt and move on myself or just change servers and start again. What a royal pain in the ass being a “casual” has become
Being an anti-social OCD sufferer, I can totally understand where you are and where you’re coming from. I’m horrible about upgrades and maximizing my chose class’s role, to the point where I wouldn’t go on raids until I got the best gem or chant for any new gear. +12 AGI to hands wasn’t enough, it HAD to be +15, or I would be literally incapable of performing in the raid.
It got to the point where I had to stop raiding completely. I couldn’t tolerate the other player’s half-assed (imo) attempts to gear their toons, and they didn’t want to hear what I had to say.
I quit the guild and took a 2-month break from WoW. When I came back, I made my own guild, put all my toons into it, and have been running totally solo since.
Easy enough to say, I’m happier now. The only person I have to worry about is myself, and I can overlook gear that’s not quite as über as it should be. I know why it’s like that, and I can deal with that.
As far as obsolete gear in a few months, T4-5 should last you into lv75, at least. T6 will likely go to lv78. My rogue wore her T3 until lv69, iirc. 
The Wild Ones last blog post..Change your password(s)!
[...] Dare to Surpass Casual Published July 7, 2008 General Last week, Lassirra of The Hunter’s Mark posted a powerful tirade on finding herself a casual player by circumstance. [...]
Wow… so many comments! 
And some from “faces” I’ve not seen here before.
Now that I’m back from holiday, I’ll be posting a follow-up to all this shortly, once I’ve had a chance to collect my thoughts more and digest the lovely comments folks have left here. 
I sympathise with your situation Lassira (and it was great to meet you today in BA chat!). It’s always disappointing when you go out of your way to assist others only to realise that they don’t care. Ultimately and sadly it’s been my realisation that people as a generalisation suck heh. I guess I feel very lucky that I’m in a guild where the majority of players and certainly all of our raiders are dedicated to improving their characters. So in that sense I guess I am also saying - there are players out there who do care and do appreciate help and advice - don’t give up! Be more willing to move on from situations that suck would be my advice - get more selfish =D
Jezraels last blog post..Random musings
Nice article Lass.
An interesting view into the inner workings, lol.
For the record you were an exemplary officer in The Kaldorei and we are diminished in your departure!
Keep on keeping on and I hope you find a good home for Lass, even if it means we see less of you on your alts!
Remember the goal posts will all reset with LK anyways, so do what makes you happy! Hmmmm, where have I given that advice before…
Skar and Co.
Casual by choice of SWMBO, Lucas, Kaleigh, and Danica
Thanks, Skar. It really makes me feel good to know that I’ll always have friends, and a support network, in TK, no matter where my wandering takes me. Knowing that I have your support, and the support of other folks in TK, really means a lot to me. Thanks again.
[...] Hunter’s Mark http://www.thehuntersmark.net/2008/07/02/casual-by-circumstance/ and the follow-up [...]
I’m casual by circumstance but I dedicate my time to improving my characters as best as I can. I don’t have a guaranteed block of time to play and most of my guildies are in a similar position. So when I play I try to use that time as efficiently as possible. When I see that we have enough members to run something I try to put it together.
We’re small so having a bunch of people on at the same time is a rare thing, so I jump at the chance to finally do heroics with these folks. But I get stalled out by people wanting to do X quest or Y daily. I feel guilty because in my head I think “Dude wtf, if you want money I’ll hand you 30g, let’s go kill stuff together!” Since the one wanting to do quest/daily/farm instead is the guild’s main tank or healer the run falls apart.
[...] of The Hunter’s Mark has written two pieces recently about that situation: Casual by Circumstance and a follow-up, More Casual / Hardcore Musings. Both address that issue where personal and guild [...]
Is it comforting to know there are lots of people out there who are just as frustrated as you are over this? I could have wrriten most of this post myself.
I fall into the (b) category of casual by circumstance - being in a guild that doesn’t raid as serious as I would like. We have half a dozen serious raiders and a dozen casuals who don’t research their characters or take advice. Why do I stay? Friendships with the half dozen and a few others, (its a 400 strong causal guild for all levels) plus being shy with people I don’t know (I’m friendly and vocal with those I do) I find it hard to go out and find another guild that offers what I want.
I am currently trying to work out whether to stay in the guild and raid with the casuals, stay but stick mostly to pvp and content that doesn’t rely so much on the casuals for my gear upgrades before Wrath, or move on in search of new cheese in another guild. Wish me luck, as I wish everyone luck in resolving their own frustrations while playing in the causal leagues 
Lol im a lil late to the party but well said, I feel the same way, Im working on my 5th 70 right now because in my mind raiding at this point is a waste of time… a blue level 72 dagger will replace the dagger from Illidan… Why raid only to have that happen, So i just play alts and attempt to PvP in a totally imbalanced system (*cough**cough*Rogues, Resto Druids*cough**cough*).
Thanks for the awesome site Lass. Wish I had found it long before now… woulda saved me some trouble, oh God let’s not even mention the boredom it would have saved me. 
And here I was thinking I’m the only one…
I sympathize with you Lass. I share many of your frustrations. What I find funny is that people usually think I’m pretty friendly, but socializing in game is very different for me. I do feel the burnout creeping up on me also because I’m starting to feel indifferent towards some things.
When I started playing, I didn’t see myself becoming a hardcore player. Hitting the level cap changed things… =/
Loronars last blog post..Making the Environment Work for You